I’ve been working wth clients on their home renovation for years now. I even work with fellow interior designers to support them in their design process with their clients. This issue is something that I’ve noticed happening every single time, across my clients and the clients of the designers I help. It’s something that I prepared myself for when I moved into my own home and started renovating it.
And it happened anyway.
You see, the hidden side of renovating that nobody talks about (especially not interior designers) is the emotional side of the process (the design part and the renovation itself).
I am talking about anxiety, fear (of things going wrong, of wasting money), decision paralysis or fatigue, options overwhelm, double-doubting the decisions you’ve made, what you’ve picked, if it will work out, if it can be delivered intact, if it can be installed, the lack of sleep, etc. Not to mention the discomfort of having strangers come into your home and ripping things out, drilling holes, constant noise, dust, lack of basic needs (such as a working kitchen or a bed), etc.
All of these feelings and emotions are not some small thing that can be brushed off or put aside. You cannot just “calm down” or “tone it down”. Because the reality is you can’t (always) control how you respond to things or what you feel.
You feel what you feel. And the key to a successful project is to feel your way through your feelings. To address them, process them, and let them pass.
I experienced this first-hand while I redid my kitchen and replaced all the flooring in my house. I knew what to expect. I knew the behind-the-scenes, what the process would be like, what the builders would do, that it would be noisy and dusty, etc. (my husband and I lived on site while work was going on).
And yet, I did not expect to feel things at the level that I did.
I felt ashamed that I did experience these emotions because I am an interior designer, after all. As if being an interior designer somehow made me immune to these feelings.
But this process has shown me that, at the end of the day, I am human. I am a human being, with emotions and feelings. Just like you. Just like everybody else.
I believe interior designers avoid talking about this because they don’t want to feel burdened or have to handle/managing clients’ emotions.
But, as I experienced all of the feelings I mentioned above (while doing/manageing my renovation because I am an interior designer; of course I am going to take this on), what screamed out to me the most was feeling alone and overwhelmed.
Until my husband asked what he could do to help and that I am not alone in this renovation. I am sure I don’t need to say this, but sharing the load is a GAME CHANGER!
It also made me realise how clients feel when I come on board their projects. Groundbreaking, I know.
Photo by Detail Movement
I imagined as much, but now I also know what it feels like, in my bones. What it feels like to have a helping hand. Not that my husband's design ideas were very helpful (one even scared the builders a little bit - but that is a story for another time), but knowing I am not alone, that the renovation does not rest solely on my shoulders, helped immensely.
So what can you do when you inevitably reach this stage in your home renovation?
First of all, breathe. Know that what and how you are feeling is completely normal. Everybody experiences this.
Feel your feelings. What are they trying to tell you? Perhaps you are feeling overwhelmed, alone in the process or stressed out. Do you need someone to be there to ease the feelings, or do you actually need a helping hand? Someone to delegate things to? Or take everything off your hands - in which case, hi! As an interior designer, this is exactly what I do (among other things too).
Decide what you want to do. Do you want to DIY the whole project or just partially? Do you want a professional to step in and take care of everything for you?
Decide how much you are comfortable spending on this project. Because knowing that will dictate the outcome of the project. DIY vs working with an interior designer are two very different things, from experience, results and of course, investment.
Seek out relevant help. Maybe from friends and family (if you are DIY-ing everything) or working with an interior designer.
Remember you don’t have to go through it alone. Help is always available to those who ask, even if it’s hard to ask (speaking from experience).
But finding someone to work with who genuinely gets it, who knows what it feels like and understands what you are emotionally going through, someone who won’t judge your overwhelm, anxiety or doubt (when they inevitably happen) is essential.
I have nothing but compassion for my clients now, because I know how hard it is to be in this emotional slump and ask for help.
I am not saying work with me. Although I am, because I know I can help and that we could create magic together. But what I am saying is I genuinely get it. Now that I’ve been through it myself.
And I am here if you need a helping hand if you need it.
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All images that are credited as '©Detail Movement' are done by Raluca Vaduva for Detail Movement. All rights reserved. All pictures that are not my own, I credit to the best of my knowledge & research to their offline/online sources. I do not claim ownership over them in any way. If you see your picture on this site and do not wish for it to be displayed, please get in touch, and I will remove it or add additional notes at your request.